How To Start a Religious Cult

A guide for creating your own church business...

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  1. Creating your first religious cult:

    1. Approriate a wholesome mascot, like Jesus Christ.
    2. Find some good people.
    3. Tell them your cause is to help others, and that they will personally grow by helping others. 
    4. Tell them this makes your cause different and better than other ways they could spend their time.
    5. Invite them to join your cause. 
  2. How to keep people in your religious cult:

    6. Manufacture good feelings by continually love bombing the group, and generating warm and fuzzy messages.
    7. Mandate an impossible standard of perfectionism.
    8. Help them realize they are broken, because they can't meet it. 
    9. Sell repentance to them. 
    10. Dilute their family circles and friendships and replace them with other followers. 
    11. Reinforce the idea that they should not listen to or trust themselves, but rather, they should listen to and follow the voice of the group.   Be sure to control the conversations in the group.
    12. Reinforce the idea that it is dangerous for them to make their own decisions, so they must let the group lead them. 
    13. Reinforce the idea that the group is happy and that people outside the group are not as happy. 
    14. Reinforce the idea that the group is favored by god more then others outside the group. 
    15. Introduce a unique group vocabulary to strongly influence how people think. 
    16. Repeat 6-15 while keeping them busy with pointless work until they are worn down and have no real personal identity anymore. Threaten them with losing their souls or their family if they leave the group.
  3. How to make billions from your religious cult: 

    16. Collect 10% of their income, saying it is going to God, and helping others.
    17. Don't disclose where the money actually goes.
    18. Reinforce anti-materialism among the members, while taking their money.
    19. Make "no paid clergy" a value, while taking their money.
    20. Assign the members to be clergy, without paying them, while taking their money.
    21. Have them teach themselves, while taking their money.
    22. Have them volunteer for and pay for marketing campaigns to grow your organization, while you take their money.
    23. Create token industries to keep your tax-exempt status.
    24. Give out bright matching tee-shirts to your members who volunteer their time for disaster-relief work. Take many photos and publish them to demonstrate how your organization is helping the needy.
    25. Give $50 to the needy, for every $10,000 you collect. Keep the rest.